Summer 2026 Update:

Advising the "Waffling" Aspiring Student-Athlete

One recurring frustration for parents and college counselors is students who “waffle.” They seem to be on the fence about playing their sport in college and the internet and professional spaces are chock full of terrible advice about how to deal with it…

“have the student rate their interest in being recruited on a scale of 1-10”

“make sure the student is ‘all-in’ on the recruiting process before getting started”

and so many more…

All this really misses the point. When a student is unsure in their college search, they are often telling us that they do not have enough information to be confident in making a decision. Of course, being adolescent means often not communicating this clearly, they may be thinking, "aren’t you supposed to KNOW whether you want to do something or not?" It sounds like an internal thing… but in this case it is a smart reaction to lack of information. A student can’t really know whether playing in college is THEIR right choice until they understand the specifics of what it will look like FOR THEM and what their options are. That is why commitment comes at the END of the recruiting process and not the beginning.

So, when a student expresses indecision or inconsistent preferences around the recruiting process… the most impactful response from parents and advisors should default to guiding the student to find more meaningful and personally relevant information! This means reaching out to college coaches – with video and/or appropriate data for feedback and then being able to process that information in a way that empowers the student. It is ALWAYS a student choice, a student can change the way they train, they can compete in different environments or events, they can even go to a college ID camp (click here for more about THAT option), they can alter their academic schedules or get tutoring. There is always a choice. A conversation about “how bad do you want it?” that doesn’t ask for opinion but focuses on observation of action. Not sure you want to play in college? Let’s email a dozen coaches with every NCAA division and the NAIA included on the list and find out more about what playing in college might look like FOR YOU. Don’t want to do that… well, THAT could be a good indication of a level of interest.

Advising students on optimizing cold emails to coaches is an important part of the process. If a student sends out emails and gets no responses because of the way their communication is constructed, it is a lost opportunity and a waste of effort. Common mistakes, like oversharing, unbalanced lists of coaches, or poorly organized resumes/highlight reels significantly reduce the student’s opportunity to hear professional feedback and therefore reduce student autonomy to drive their own college search!

If you are looking for help, the resume/email templates and other resources (all free of course) at https://collegeathleticadvisor.com/counselorresources/ can provide a great start for a student or a college counselor facilitating and advisee through the process! Feel free to reach out with questions!

As always, if you are interested in learning more about individualized or institutional consulting to elevate your college search, check out our services here! You can make an initial appointment through the link on our homepage! School administrators and counselors access our free resources, appointments and programs for school collaboration here.

For more information, contact Dave Morris, College Counselor & CEO, College Athletic Advisor, dave@collegeathleticadvisor.com or phone: (719) 248-7994

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